Back to School

MOMMY’s FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN: “Ok Honey. I’ve filled your ergonomically-designed backpack with glitter pencils, superhero folders, power puff notebooks, a box of crayons (well, two boxes…just in case), extra glue sticks, and an apple for your teacher. There’ a gluten-free-dairy-free-nut-free lunch (b/c someone in your class might have allergies) in this Bento box. I also picked-up a dozen boxes of Kleenex for your community of kindergarteners. But you can’t carry all of that, so I’ll just escort you to your classroom on the first day of school (or maybe all week, since I don’t want you to get lost). I’ll miss you so much, baby!!!”

MOM SENDS BOTH TEENS TO HIGH SCHOOL: “Ok Dudes. You can reuse your backpacks and lunchboxes, since they’re still in good shape from last year. Your lunches kinda suck cuz I haven’t had time to hit the grocery store…sorry ‘bout that. We have so many extra school supplies from years past that I’m not bothering shopping until I have each teacher’s syllabus in my hands. I threw an old folder, your schedule, some loose leaf paper, and a pen in each of your bags, cuz that’s all you’ll need for the first day (or week) anyway. Oh, Xander: I stuck a map of the ginormous high school in there too, just in case you get lost. Good luck, men.”

back to school

Author: punkproprietress

Punk who pokes peeps for cheap.

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