Recently, my Grandma & Grandpa Feltz celebrated their 70th Anniversary. As someone whose relationships rarely last more than a couple of years, I am astounded by that longevity.
Grandma introduced me to Cincinnati chili in my childhood. When I prepare that for my boys, I think of my grandparents celebrating seven decades of love and friendship. My grandma is a wonderful cook…but my grandpa didn’t always think so. When they were first married, he would stop at a bar on the way home from work where he’d enjoy a drink and a sandwich, because he didn’t really like her cuisine. (In their early years of marriage, Grandma had been surprised to find that Grandpa didn’t have much of an appetite!) Over time, he teases, one of two things happened: either her cooking improved with practice, or he got used to the meals she made. In any case, he eventually ate all of his dinners in his own home.
Cincinnati chili needs to sit in the fridge overnight for the sharp flavors to soften a bit. I think that’s maybe what happens in a stable relationship, too: strong ingredients are assembled, and life’s circumstances cook them together, but the slow passage of time is what melds the spices and makes it work.
Or maybe we discard a bunch of awful meals early on and practice our skillz frequently before figuring out how to create something that’s palatable. WTH do I know…I don’t have 70 years under my belt (yet).
Cheers to good cooking: gentle & slow, hard & fast, in the kitchen, the bedroom, and the places in between.
I tend to be something of a social-media-slut. Which is to say, I’ll accept (almost) anyone’s friend-request. I love learning about people and *especially* about people who see life differently than I do. It helps me professionally, but even more: the kaleidoscope of views enriches my world.
That being said, I’ve blocked some folks lately (a rarity) and, in doing so, thought it might be useful to give a blanket warning before my next strike.
You & I don’t have to share the same political or religious beliefs to be friends. In fact, I’ll probably make a point of reading your pages or posts or blogs *even more* than those of my like-minded friends, because I want to understand other people’s perspectives far more than I want to live in an echo chamber. (I might not “like” what you write, but that doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention.)
If you over-post or share things that upset me, I might unfollow you…but we can still be friends. 🙂
If you *attack* me or my friends on my page or in the comments of my posts, I will block you faster than a brick mason. Were I a more patient person, I might try to have a “teaching moment”…but alas, I am an impulsive, nasty woman, and I will cut you without a second thought.
(Also: while I strive to be politically agnostic within the confines of my clinic — I want that to be a safe space for everyone — my opinions tend to bleed over on my social media pages. If you don’t want to see them, feel free to unfollow or unfriend me; no hard feelings here.)
When I first joined Facebook, I had ten online friends. I didn’t understand social media at all. I remember uploading some photos from my wedding, and was then mortified when people “liked” them. I hadn’t meant to grandstand or draw attention to myself…I simply thought I was saving the pictures for myself, to look at later.
Fast forward a decade.
I’ve made a few more friends. I have some inkling about how the book of faces works. And on an almost daily basis, someone tells me that they appreciate my posts.
Enter Cleo Dunsmore, who has been persistently, insistently cheerleading me to start a blog.
ME: There are far better writers out there than I. Who would even want to read my posts?! There are already *so many* good blogs…mine would just be more noise in a crowded arena.
CLEO: It’s not about being the best writer. Who cares if any of it is even publishable? The point is: you see the world differently. You write about that eloquently. You have changed MY life with your writing. A blog has the potential to reach MORE people than ANY of your Facebook posts. If only ONE other person reads your blog, and you change only ONE other life, then it will ALL have been worthwhile.
And that is where she hooked me: service to others.
So I puttered and I tinkered and I edited some old pieces. If we haven’t been friends for very long, you’ll likely find things you’ve never read before. If we’ve been friends for a while, you may find posts you’ve forgotten about. After a recent experiment in illustration, you’re likely to find more of that forthcoming. And of course, new material is always presenting itself.
If nothing else, it’ll be a place for me to save some of the things I’ve written, to look at later.
(And if you don’t want to miss my new posts, be sure to follow this blog!)